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A Mother's Story
New Brunswick Children's Equal Parents Association




Let me see where do I start??? Well I got married in 1992 to someone whom I thought I was in love with and was going to spend the rest of my life with. We tried for two years with no luck to start a family, finally after many tests and everything else under the son and me almost dying we gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Two years later after going to marriage counseling and crying to my x-husband I decided that I could not live with him any longer and decided to leave.

At the point that I decided to leave. Unlike other stories there was no violence or any kind of of abuse involved. I soon found out that the legal system was out to make money and nobody cared about my son, myself or my x-husband. The first lawyer advised me to take my x husband to court the next day to gain soul custody of my son. Well that would of had a nice price tag of app $2000-3000, as well as alot of hard feelings. This lawyer also advised me to go after my x husband for child support cause I was a woman and was entitled to this. After researching and finding a good lawyer; which I might add are very few, I was advised that if I had gone after my x husband for child support he could have done the very exact same thing to me as we were only apart on 800.00 on our incomes.

AS both my x husband and myself wanted as little impact on our son as possible we had decided to sit down and talk about what we could do to stay out of court as neither of us wanted to explain to our son years down the road that we were adult enough to love him and create him, but we were not adult enough to see what was in his best interest.

Not soon afterwards my x husband and myself sat at the kitchen table of my former house and drew up a separation agreement that costed us together $200.00. We agreed on 50/50 joint custody and no child support to be paid, as both of us would be responsible for housing and clothing and feeding my son equally. That contract was drawn up in 1997, we have deviated from the means on alot of occasions for example the contract states that every other xmas will be spent with the other parent, well both of us being responsible parents decided that it was in my son's best interest to spend time with both of us so we have made arrangements ourselves to accommodate our son. The contract stands only if we can't make adult decisions. Being 3.5 yrs later I have decided to close this chapter of my life and my x husband and myself have decided to obtain the legal divorce. Again while searching for a lawyer I was amazed at there attitudes and fees ... there is nothing there to regulate this price or this child support issue. I found out that when I apply for the divorce that the Judge would impose an amount of child support for my son even though both my x husband and myself do not wish to exchange money as we both have the same incomes. The law being this way will now almost always land two people in court paying $2000 plus for this issue and where does this great child support go that is "for my son"?? Well the answer my friends is simple by math if I am to receive app 300.00 per month and I have to pay out at least $2000.00 and my x husband as well then that is $4000.00 plus divided by 300.00 is 1 year and 2 months that my son's child support went to two lawyers kids maybe to buy that more expensive Cadillac while my son drives in a Sunfre or a Ford escort... My question when is the system going to work with families and not against them???